Tuesday, March 23, 2010

And what is real life?

It's amazing how much your feelings can be hurt by someone you've never even met in real life. You might still consider that person a friend, a confidant, someone you trust and/or truly care about and believe cares about you. And if you find out that things aren't all as they seemed, you can feel hurt, betrayed, saddened, and disillusioned.

How is it that we let people we don't even really KNOW have so much power over our lives? I have this strong desire to trust everyone, to take everyone at face value. I hate it when I find out that face value isn't really a value at all.

This has been a very long week for me emotionally, as many things that have come out in an online community that I considered to be a group of friends has turned into something very negative. I cannot help but feel hurt over it. I have tried very hard to stay out of the middle, away from the drama. I am human, and I admit to not always succeeding at that goal, but I have TRIED and at least I can say that. I want to rewind this whole situation by MONTHS and go back to before when everything started to seriously unravel. I have trusted these people with some of my heart, and it's beginning to feel like that trust was misplaced. I've discussed things with them about my children, about my husband, about my LIFE. I can only hope that they will consider my trust as sacred as I considered it when I gave it to them and don't abuse it anymore than it has already been abused.

I have learned my lesson, and it was a hard one. And now it is time to move on.

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