Thursday, August 23, 2012

Nerves

I dropped off my application for the nursing program today.  Right now, I am pre-nursing.  This application was for the professional (read:clinicals) portion of the degree I am pursuing.  I feel like I have a good chance of getting admitted, but I won't know for sure until late October.  Talk about stress!  Even though I think I am at the top of the application pool, the reality is that in life there are no guarantees.  Just because I think I have a good chance of getting in does not guarantee that I will get admitted.  And that just keeps running through my head, over and over.  If I don't get admitted, I don't know what I will do.  The last year and a half will have been effort expended for nothing.  I can always apply to other schools, I suppose, or even this same school again.  But I've worked so hard to follow this pace, I really don't want a setback.  Ugh.  I am a worrier by nature so the next two months are going to be pretty long here in the Mac household.

Monster Boy is back at school!  So far he seems to be doing well.  We've had a couple hiccups - but, he's a seven year old boy.  I don't expect perfect behavior from him all the time - I just expect him to do his best.  Yesterday and today he hasn't been doing that, so we are going to have to revisit this issue.  We had a long talk this morning, but I'm not sure it made much impact.  I guess time will tell.

Miss Sunshine is as crazy as ever.  With my new work schedule, she's had some adjusting to do.  She's doing fairly well with it so far.  She cracks me up on a regular basis.  Tonight, I had some grapes after dinner.  After seeing the grapes on my plate, she promptly went to the fridge to make sure I hadn't eaten all of the grapes.  When she didn't see any grapes in the fridge (there was a whole bag in the crisper) she promptly ran to her daddy and fell to pieces because "Mommy ated all my gwapes!".  When Monster Boy informed her I hadn't, she immediately responded with "Well, you go look in the fwidge then, because I looked and I didn't saw any more gwapes!".  He wound up carrying the entire bag of grapes in to her room to prove to her that there were grapes left.  See?  A mess.   An awfully cute one, but a mess all the same.

I need to call and set up our follow up with the local ENT.  She's been complaining about her ears "itching" a lot lately - usually a sign of wax build up.  At least she isn't complaining that they hurt.  I know he will look at her ears, check the tube placement, clean out some wax and probably do another tympanogram and possibly a booth test.  I am always nervous about this because of our past difficulties with the tubes not wanting to stay in place.  And because she already had signs of scar tissue in her right ear, and that's the tube we've had the most issues with, I get nervous.  The ENT at Shriner's felt that she may not need any more sets of tubes, as when he replaced the last set there was no fluid in her ears - but that could have been an air bubble from anesthesia too.  The only way to know if she needs another set or not is to let these fall out and see what happens.  Part of me is hoping the tubes are no longer in place now, so we can monitor and see rather than waiting for them to come up.  The other downside is that because she's had the tubes for so long, there is a chance her eardrums have scarred around them, meaning once the tubes DO come out, the holes in her ear drums may not heal.  If that happens, she will need a graft surgery to correct that.  Of course, we had no choice but to risk that possibility because of her cleft.  Hearing is just such a touchy thing, anything to do with her ears makes me apprehensive.

So, that's where we are for now.  I'll update after we see the ENT.  September is Craniofacial Acceptance Month and I am hoping to have some good posts about our cleft journey to coincide with all of that. 

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Where did the summer go?

Wow.  This summer flew past!  I don't know where all the time went.

Well, we were busy, that was for sure.  I took Microbiology this summer, and between classes every day and work every night, there was just no time.  This semester coming up will be the reverse - work in the morning and class in the evening.  I'm hoping it won't feel as hectic, though, since I'm only taking two classes this semester.  I turn in my nursing program application next week - and I'm praying I get accepted to start in January. 

Daddy Mac has been working hard, as always.  I am incredibly blessed to have his support in my schooling efforts, despite the stress it has to impart upon him.  Sometimes it feels like the last four years have been a trial by fire - but that's how the strongest steel is forged.  I am so grateful to have the love of  such a great man, for myself and for our children.  I look forward to the days when I can support him in following his dreams as he has done for me.

Monster Boy has done fairly well this summer.  He still struggles every time I start classes again.  I'm not sure where this fear comes from - he is paranoid about me going to school.  Each time I just try to reassure him that I am doing this for all of us.  I've gotten counseling information just in case.  Hopefully we won't need it and the transition will go better this time.  He is ready for school to start.  My big second grader this year!  I can't believe he is already that old - the time really does fly by.  Soccer starts again for him next week, Boy Scouts will start up as soon as the school year gets going, and he's also throwing around the idea of doing gymnastics, or karate, or piano lessons.  On top of the sacraments he will be recieving this year, it's going to be a BUSY BUSY year for him.  I've already told him he has to pick one thing and one thing only, because anything else is just going to be too much.

Miss Sunshine is as crazy as ever.  She's so smart.  I'm really disappointed we weren't able to get her in to preschool this year - she's absolutely ready for it.  Unfortunately, due to budget constraints, the kids school dropped their three year old preK program.  And the decision wasn't made until so late in the year that there weren't any openings at any other nearby programs for us to put her in.  And since Early Intervention has decided she doesn't need any further services (Yay!) she doesn't qualify for Head Start or any of the public preK programs for three year olds here.  So she won't start until next year.  Which is okay, but I would have liked to have her in school this year.  Such is life.  So instead, we will work on what she needs to know at home - she already knows the basics, all I need to work on her with is writing her name and knowing our phone number .  I'm hopeful that this will be an easy learning experience for her, and I've already stocked up on lettering pages and notepads. 


So, life is moving on in the Mac household.  I'll try to keep up more once we get settled into our routine.  Miss Sunshine will be having an ENT follow up sometime this month to check on her tubes, and probably clean her ears out again, as she has had a lot of wax buildup lately.  Other than that, it looks like it will be basic well child care for her for the next two years - I may request a speech evaluation once she starts preK, and we will do follow ups with the local ENT every six months until this current set of tubes come out or stop functioning.  Then they will monitor her for a couple of months to see if it's necessary to place a new set - her ENT at Shriner's thought she may not need more as there was little to no fluid in her ears when she placed the last set.  Of course, that's something we just won't know until the current tubes stop functioning and we can see if she has fluid build up or not.  Since every child differs, there is just no way to know.  At this point, it looks like she won't need addition palate procedures, but of course we can't know that until she grows more!  We are in a holding pattern for now - but she's doing everything as perfect as she can, so we can only pray that trend continues.