This is what you would call a DELUGE...

So, all of our plans for the day got scrapped. Ugh.

We have been down to one vehicle for the last two weeks, as my husband's car just refused to start one day. So Daddy Mac has been taking my van to work, coming home at lunch and picking up Monster Boy to take him to school, and then leaving work early to pick up Monster Boy from school and bringing him home. I needed the van today to run some errands, so Miss Sunshine and I went with them to take Monster Boy to school and then dropped Daddy Mac off at the office while I ran my errands. The original plan was to pick him up from the office after getting Monster Boy from school - well he called and said he was going to get a ride from someone at the office and to just head home instead. Well, I went home and stopped to get the mail on the way. I get back in the van to start it back up and drive the half a block to our house, and the van won't start! I called Daddy Mac, he got a ride right then, they tried to jump the van with no luck and we wound up pushing it down the street to the house. A friend of ours came over to look at the van, and we all immediately though the battery was bad. After a battle to pull the battery out of the van, we took it up to the parts store to have them test it. Nothing wrong with the battery, so now we don't know WHAT is wrong with the van. We were able to jump the car and currently have it hooked up to a battery charger, hoping and praying that will be all it takes to get it back on the road at least temporarily until we can get the van running again... hoping being the operative word there.

I think we've bypassed pour and are full on into monsoon at this point...

Toothy Tuesday!

Little Miss Sunshine cut her first tooth today! She had her hands in her mouth all morning so I decided to do some investigating, and sure enough, there it was, right through the gum! You can't see it yet, but you can definitely feel it! Took her long enough...

In other news, we are struggling with her speech. She has the appropriate number of words for her age and so she is not TECHNICALLY speech-delayed. HOWEVER, she does not say consonants other than M, N, and W sounds. This is an issue. Both the speech therapists at Shriner's and our local speech therapist here from Rainbows United have said that they would expect more consonant sounds out of her at this point - specifically B, P and D sounds. And we've got NOTHING. She also is not doing much "responsive" speech, other than the words she already knows. If you try to get her to mimic "baby", for example, she just looks at you like you are crazy and goes and gets her baby doll. Not a peep will come from her. Now, she'll spout off "mama" and "more" for you no problem, but good luck getting much else. We did get her to say "uh-oh" during her speech therapy this last week, and she's been saying it continually ever since, which is great!, but still not where we want her to be. At this point, we are trying to stay away from being overly aggressive, but we also want to keep her speech at least age appropriate and prevent her from falling behind. Our speech therapist here gave us some good ideas to work with and will be back in two weeks to check on our progress - hopefully in that time we can squeak an "up" or a "baby" out of her!

On the agenda for tomorrow are some fun activities with the kids - Monster Boy located a large box that he can fit inside of and it's now his "secret hideaway" as he calls it. I told him we could decorate it with markers and paints tomorrow - so that is on the agenda... Said box will then be making it's way into the basement playroom so it does not take up so much space in our living room. Also, tomorrow is on the schedule for Easter Egg time! Who knows whether that will happen or not - it may get postponed to Thursday...

I'll be selling some handmade wares of mine in a local craft show in May, and if that goes well, my stepmother and I will be joining forces on Etsy (where she already has a tie-dyed baby clothes site!) to sell a few things on there... I've been working on stuff slowly but surely lately, hoping to build up a stash and get things going. Our ultimate goal is to find a way for me to continue to stay home with the kids until Monster Boy starts kindergarten (sniff!) in the fall, at which time we are hopeful I may be able to go back to school as well... I've been applying for several jobs in the area without much response, so we feel more and more as though this "going back to school" thing is really what is meant to happen. Of course, in order for that to happen, Daddy Mac has to find a steady form of income or I have to find a way to bring more money in. I've applied for a few part time positions to see if maybe I can get a leg up there and at least get SOME money coming in, and am hoping perhaps this Etsy shop will be another answer for us. We will have lots of fun and exciting items for sale - and as soon as things are set up and running I'll throw you all a link and maybe a button or two! So keep your eyes peeled for that one! I'm hoping to get some more followers going on here as well, so hey, recommend me to your friends! If I can get enough of a following going, there might be some giveaways in it for you!

Happy Birthday, Honey!

My mom is keeping the kids tonight so Daddy Mac and I can go out and celebrate his birthday and our anniversary. A kid free night all night long. And I'm even nice enough that I let him pick the movie we will see - one that I totally do not want to go to. It is his birthday, after all!

Monday will mark our two year wedding anniversary. Seems like it's been so much longer than just two years - and I mean that in a good way. I really just don't remember what life was like without my husband. He has been my rock over the past year as we have dealt with the discovery of Miss Sunshine's cleft and all that has entailed. My emotions have been up and down and taken him on quite the roller coaster ride, for sure. And I know we aren't done yet. Things are hard right now for us, emotionally with the kids, financially with me being laid off and his job just not going well, and even physically as we have both struggled with some emotional weight gain and all that entails on our health. But I have faith that the next year of our marriage will bring better and brighter days, and that the trials we have gone through thus far will do nothing but serve to make our relationship that much stronger. I look forward to the days ahead, and am ready to put the days behind where they belong - behind us.

And what is real life?

It's amazing how much your feelings can be hurt by someone you've never even met in real life. You might still consider that person a friend, a confidant, someone you trust and/or truly care about and believe cares about you. And if you find out that things aren't all as they seemed, you can feel hurt, betrayed, saddened, and disillusioned.

How is it that we let people we don't even really KNOW have so much power over our lives? I have this strong desire to trust everyone, to take everyone at face value. I hate it when I find out that face value isn't really a value at all.

This has been a very long week for me emotionally, as many things that have come out in an online community that I considered to be a group of friends has turned into something very negative. I cannot help but feel hurt over it. I have tried very hard to stay out of the middle, away from the drama. I am human, and I admit to not always succeeding at that goal, but I have TRIED and at least I can say that. I want to rewind this whole situation by MONTHS and go back to before when everything started to seriously unravel. I have trusted these people with some of my heart, and it's beginning to feel like that trust was misplaced. I've discussed things with them about my children, about my husband, about my LIFE. I can only hope that they will consider my trust as sacred as I considered it when I gave it to them and don't abuse it anymore than it has already been abused.

I have learned my lesson, and it was a hard one. And now it is time to move on.

Getting Crafty

I read some pretty cool Mom Blogs in my (little) spare time. A lot of them give great tips on DIY projects to save money, and I have recently put a few of these to the test. I have been SUPER pleased with all the results and am passing them on to you!

My first DIY project was making my own baby wipes. Miss Sunshine has developed a sensitivity to pretty much every baby wipe on the market, even the sensitive formula wipes. I was looking for an alternative, and one of my friends just happened to have a "recipe" for making your own baby wipes. I made a few alterations of my own to her "recipe" as some of the called for items (specific brands) are not available in my area without ordering online, but the measurements and types of product used remained the same. I am THRILLED with the results. They smell SO good, they work SO well, and no more rashes! Hooray! If you want to learn how to make your own baby wipes, head here: Alanna In Suburbia.

My next DIY project was to make my own baby legwarmers. I have to tell you all, when I first saw Baby Legs and the generic versions in stores, I honestly thought they were just the most ridiculous things ever. But then I got a pair as a gift and fell IN LOVE. They are fantastic - the perfect addition to a dress or onesie to keep baby's legs warm and protected - and no messing with pulling tights on and off at diaper change time! Hooray! So, another mommy blogger I follow posted directions on how to make your OWN baby legwarmers out of knee high socks. I desperately wanted a St. Patrick's Day themed pair to go with the Jean skirt, t-shirt and hairbow I had for Miss Sunshine to wear on St. Patrick's Day this year. So I went out, bought a pair of shamrock knee highs and followed directions. They were SO easy and took me less than 10 minutes to make, and I definitely do not qualify as a veteran sewer in any way, shape or form. Head on over to My Boho Baby is Hippie Chic to learn how to make your own baby legwarmers too! And, some photographic evidence of my foray in to baby legwarmer making for you all:

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Well, things have been BUSY BUSY around the Mac household these days. Miss Sunshine is growing like a weed and into EVERYTHING. Monster Boy is being his usual charming self.

This week was spring break for Monster Boy. Wednesday we shipped him off to one Grandma and Miss Sunshine off to another and set about redoing his bedroom. Our house has builder white paint on the walls and has since we moved in. Slowly but surely we've been painting the rooms, and his was next on the agenda. It seemed like a good time to do it since we had to purchase a new bedding set for him anyways - he has a bit of an obsession with scissors, as it turns out, and not in a good way. So far he has decimated the dogs leash, cut his own hair and the latest was cutting a hole in his bedspread. I let it go as long as I could, but it had reached the point where the dog (and Miss Sunshine) were pulling the filling out through the hole. So I bought a new bed set and gave him some paint chips to pick a color from. My bad in the part that I didn't realize just how BRIGHT the final color choice was - it honestly didn't look that bright in the store. The paint job turned out well, and it goes wonderfully with his new striped bedspread (that will grow well with him as he ages) but MAN it is blinding in his room. I have some pictures for you, but they don't really do it justice...

Well Dang...

Phew - I got all hot and bothered and wrote up my other post - and wouldn't you know it, didn't even check out my counter to see that I FLEW past 1,000 hits sometime in the last few days! Thanks for joining me along on the ride...

bothered...

So, I have hit upon something that is really bothering me today. Several friends posted a link to this blog: Eclectic Effervescence on their Facebook. Apparently, this mother had posted pictures of herself tandem nursing her preemie twin boys on a breastfeeding fan page, and Facebook REMOVED it as sexually explicit and/or offensive. I am appalled.

I am certainly not a breastfeeding expert. Nor am I "Breastfeeding is the ONLY way to go." I certainly understand that there are many, many extenuating circumstances to why a person may or may not choose to breastfeed. Especially now, I certainly understand this. What I do NOT understand is our society's need to push breastfeeding in a closet! The AAP and many other medical groups all agree that, whenever possible, breast is best. So why is it that breastfeeding mothers are shunned? Asked to leave places when nursing in public? Forced to cover their child's heads while feeding so that others are not offended? In a country that must be largely desensitized to nudity based on the type of television that is commonplace, why is it that a woman using her breasts for what nature INTENDED them for is so disturbing? Why is it that it is perfectly acceptable for a networking site like Facebook to have fan pages for groups like "I love Big Boobs" or "Tits" or "Titties" with photos of scantily clad women with large appendages but it is NOT acceptable for a mother to place a photograph of herself breastfeeding her children (with more of her skin covered that what is shown in the other photos!) on a BREASTFEEDING SUPPORT page? Do people really troll sites such as this looking for these things to report? Because these photos had to be reported to be removed. So someone reports THESE but not those other pictures? Why is that? Why is is that as a society we are SO uncomfortable with the view of a woman FEEDING HER CHILD that we ask her to cover up, to take down a picture, to go in another room or another store or HOME, rather than let her do what nature intended her to do with her breasts? Why have we, as a nation, SEXUALIZED the female body SO MUCH that something as natural and NON-SEXUAL as breastfeeding is turned into such a sexual act? People act like breastfeeding is inviting voyeurism! There is NOTHING sexual about breastfeeding at all to a breastfeeding mother, I can tell you that. Who made it so sexually charged, and why?

Can you tell that this really bothers me?

I'll hop down off my soap box - for now.

Just one of those days.

You know those days? The ones where, no matter what you do, you woke up on the wrong side of the bed and NOTHING is going your way? That would be my day today.

This morning I whacked my foot on the couch and either broke or SEVERELY bruised my foot. Joy. Want to know HOW I whacked my foot? Chasing the dog away from my daughters food. This dog is rapidly becoming the bane of my existence. Then Monster Boy left the baby gate on the stairs open and Miss Sunshine took a header. Thank GOD there is a landing on the first step down, so she only fell one step. He got yelled at six ways to Sunday for that one, let me tell you. Then, Miss Sunshine decided she wanted to eat, yet again, but not anything that I tried to feed her. Well, after putting her in her highchair, I turned to grab some more food and whacked my elbow hard against the cabinet. I cried. Daddy Mac had to come home from work early because I was wiped at that point. It certainly doesn't help that I am still sick, and in fact, feel worse today than I have yet.

Well, it's bedtime around these parts. I think I'm going to lay in bed and watch The Biggest Loser and then try to start my day over again by going to bed myself!

Unmotivated.

I did indeed catch Miss Sunshine's bug. I have spent the day feeling entirely miserable while chasing around after two very active (and much better feeling, obviously) children. Needless to say, we did not make it to the gym today. Which kind of sucks, but if I can't breathe out my nose and my throat hurts, I'm thinking trying to run on an elliptical is not the best plan ever. Tomorrow is swimming lesson Day One - so hopefully I am feeling better by then.

I keep looking at my blog and thinking that I really want to redo my layout. However, I'm totally unmotivated to do so - it's such a PAIN, you know? Saving the HTML codes for all the buttons and links and pictures and counters and such so that I can replace them once the new layout is in place... I'm overwhelmed just THINKING about it. Maybe sometime later this week, when I am feeling more motivated (and like designing a new layout...).

In other news, I just realized today that at some point recently, I passed 1,000 views on my blog! Whew. I have NO idea when it actually happened - I just happened to notice my counter was up over 1,000 today. Crazy.

I'm also coming up on 100 posts here soon - many many milestones still to come, I am sure.

And now, I'm going to go take a nap.

A few Big Changes...

and some little ones.

I've been reading some other blogs in the last few days, and finding myself inspired to make changes. While I may not agree on all levels with some beliefs on these blogs (because, let's be real, who REALLY agrees with another person 100% of the time?), I found some ideas very interesting. And after taking a step back and looking at some things in our lives, decided to make some changes.

Not going in to a lot of detail here, but things have been a struggle around our home the last few months. Between my layoff, Daddy Mac's layoff and new, commission only, job, we are feeling the strain financially. So far we've been able to keep our heads above water, but we are treading pretty furiously at this point. And are at a loss as to what to do to resolve it. I could return to work. The downside to that being that, A) It would require putting our children back in daycare and B) me finding a job that pays enough to pay for daycare and still bring in at least what I have been receiving in unemployment, because otherwise, why am I going back to work again? We've been looking at many different options. Tomorrow I will be calling our state health department as well as Social Services to find out exactly what all the requirements are to become a licensed, SRS approved in-home daycare. Perhaps this is the answer we are looking for. That remains to be seen. Our - or at least my (with full and loving support of my husband) dream was to go back to school to get my nursing degree. It is looking more and more likely that will not be even remotely possible, but I do still plan to meet with advisers at several local schools to see what it might entail and how remote the possibility truly is... But all this stress has put stress on us. Our relationship is strong, and we know we will make it through, but a stressed out Mommy and Daddy of course puts stress on the children as well. Our marriage is not in crisis. Please do not think that. If anything, this will bring us closer together. But finding time to DE-Stress, and figuring out a way to resolve the issue, we are struggling with that a bit.

Another issue we have been struggling with is Monster Boy's behavior of late. While I affectionately call him Monster Boy on here, that is not necessarily indicative of his behavior. Except recently. The green eyed monster is coming home to roost in my little boy, I am afraid. He was the star of the show for so very long, and initially Miss Sunshine didn't interfere too much in that position, but now that she requires so much more direct attention, it seems to be affecting him pretty heavily.

To that end, as well as to others (like the lack of quality family time we spend together), Daddy Mac and I made the decision to remove the TV from our living room this week. And acted on that immediately. We have gone from a three TV to a two TV household, and so far all indications are the difference will be huge. For one thing, it frees up an AMAZING amount of space in our living room. For another, out of necessity, because there is no longer a television to "conveniently" turn on, we are spending more time paying attention to each other, and our children. And Monster Boy is pleased as all get out with the change as well, despite my reservations that he would be upset by it (have I mentioned he does NOT deal well with change in any capacity?).

We are also spending time EVERY DAY at the gym. Monster Boy and Miss Sunshine get to play with other kids in the "play place" as Monster Boy calls it, while Mommy gets a (MUCH NEEDED) break from both kids and time to concentrate on HER. Our routine got a bit interrupted by our trip to Chicago and Miss Sunshine's subsequent bug (which I have a sneaking suspicion has been passed on to me!), but I am hopeful (depending on how I feel tomorrow, with said bug and all...) to get back to that routine this week. AND I signed Monster Boy up for swimming lessons each and every Tuesday - Mommy will work out for half an hour (instead of my typical one and a half hours) and then snag Monster Boy out of the play place and head to the pool for some Mommy/Monster Boy time. We are both very much looking forward to it.

I certainly hope that as the days wear on, I will have many positive effects from our changes to update you all with!