Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Sometimes you just have to speak.

I met another cleft family this week.

Well, to be accurate, they go to my gym. You know, where I work in the drop-off nursery. And they drop their kids off there. And I noticed about two months ago that one of their daughters has cleft lip.

And I've been wary of saying anything - because the last time I said anything to someone, the mom got totally offended and basically rushed off before I could even tell her my daughter has cleft as well. And I completely do not think I said anything offensive, all I asked was if her daughter (who had a scar running from her lip up into her nose) had a cleft. She informed me that she did not, she was just born with the scar (which is what is called a microform cleft, by the way - and is what Joaquin Phoenix has - although he denies it... but I digress), and then rushed off. I totally wasn't trying to be rude, just to connect with another parent who has been there, you know?

So, last night, I worked up my guts and said something to the dad. And he was wonderfully receptive. And told me that I should speak to his wife, when I mentioned I didn't know any other cleft families HERE, because, as he put it - she's totally involved and educated and knows a lot more than he does. He travels for work, so he missed most of the nitty-gritty, aside from surgeries, and told me I'd be better off talking to her. So hopefully, one day soon, I will work up my guts AGAIN and say something to her.

Because as much as I know I can do this on my own- oh, how wonderful it would be to have another person HERE, live and in person, to talk to about my fears and struggles and such. Someone who has been where I have been, or am going, and can reassure me on these things.

I have a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful network of online support. But sometimes, a real, live person and not just a screen name on the web, would really be great too...


  1. Where are you located? I sometimes wish I knew someone close to me as well. I am in the suburbs of Chicago.

  2. Megan, I'm in Kansas. We do travel to Chicago pretty frequently, as Shriner's hospital there is who is handling all of her cleft care. Maybe we'll get the chance to meet one of these days!