Sometimes...

I feel like I have lost all sense of myself.

Do you know what I mean? Oh, not that I would even for one SECOND trade my children for anything...

But sometimes it seems like my identity as a person disappeared as soon as they came into being. And has slowly been eroding away continually ever since.

No more the carefree days pre-children, when I could go shopping at the mall without (what feels like) hours of preparation beforehand. Where, if I wanted to go to the lake for the weekend, or head out of town, or heck, just go out for a drink with my friends, I needed no advance notice, no time to prepare, no babysitter to find or household to pack up. Sometimes, not very often, but sometimes, I miss those days...

With our lives so filled with stress, over work, over money, over insurance, and even just life - those days are remembered nearly as carefree as our childhood, and missed from time to time.

Don't get me wrong - like I said, I wouldn't trade a second of my kids lives to go back and have those days again. But sometimes, just sometimes, I can't help but think how nice it would be to just have a day (or three!) off from being "Mom" and just get to be ME - whoever that is now. Of course, like I mentioned, I'm not really sure who "me" is anymore, except as "Mom"... and that, I guess, is the whole issue.