I hate the term "Special Needs"...

So I finally heard back from Miss Sunshine's doctors office yesterday about the ENT appointment. They can't get her in until July 20th! So much for getting her seen right away. Oh well, the audiologist didn't recommend seeing an ENT until after her next hearing screening on the 15th anyways, so I guess the timing works.

I have been kind of stressed the last week or so. I think reality is just setting in. Other than the bottles, Sunshine's cleft is generally not noticeable, so it's kind of easy to ignore it. I can't forget about it - because it is always in the back of my mind. But when I look at her, because it is only the soft palate that is affected, I don't see anything wrong with her. And then things like having her hearing tested come up and I remember that I don't have a "normal" child. Not that she is abnormal, just that she requires special testing, etc that children without this defect...

For the first time last week, someone referred to her as "special needs". And yesterday a woman at work asked me how she was doing with her disability. Both times I was taken aback. I just don't look at her in this way. To me there is nothing wrong with her that cannot be fixed, so I don't think of her as disabled or "special needs". Of course, I grew up with a cousin with spina bifida, and it was a very big deal to his parents and the rest of our family that he not be treated any differently than the rest of us - so we don't see people as disabled... which is a great way to grow up. I hope to raise my children to believe the same. My cousin is in a wheelchair, so it is very obvious that there is something different about him, even to small children, but we don't treat him any differently. People comment all the time about my teasing him (we are the same age so we spent a lot of time together growing up) but I know that his feelings would be hurt if I didn't do these things. I guess just trying to reconcile Averie as someone who falls in that category just doesn't sit well with me. I'm trying to just let it go but honestly it is sticking in my head a lot these days. Hopefully I will get past it soon...