Nerves

I dropped off my application for the nursing program today.  Right now, I am pre-nursing.  This application was for the professional (read:clinicals) portion of the degree I am pursuing.  I feel like I have a good chance of getting admitted, but I won't know for sure until late October.  Talk about stress!  Even though I think I am at the top of the application pool, the reality is that in life there are no guarantees.  Just because I think I have a good chance of getting in does not guarantee that I will get admitted.  And that just keeps running through my head, over and over.  If I don't get admitted, I don't know what I will do.  The last year and a half will have been effort expended for nothing.  I can always apply to other schools, I suppose, or even this same school again.  But I've worked so hard to follow this pace, I really don't want a setback.  Ugh.  I am a worrier by nature so the next two months are going to be pretty long here in the Mac household.

Monster Boy is back at school!  So far he seems to be doing well.  We've had a couple hiccups - but, he's a seven year old boy.  I don't expect perfect behavior from him all the time - I just expect him to do his best.  Yesterday and today he hasn't been doing that, so we are going to have to revisit this issue.  We had a long talk this morning, but I'm not sure it made much impact.  I guess time will tell.

Miss Sunshine is as crazy as ever.  With my new work schedule, she's had some adjusting to do.  She's doing fairly well with it so far.  She cracks me up on a regular basis.  Tonight, I had some grapes after dinner.  After seeing the grapes on my plate, she promptly went to the fridge to make sure I hadn't eaten all of the grapes.  When she didn't see any grapes in the fridge (there was a whole bag in the crisper) she promptly ran to her daddy and fell to pieces because "Mommy ated all my gwapes!".  When Monster Boy informed her I hadn't, she immediately responded with "Well, you go look in the fwidge then, because I looked and I didn't saw any more gwapes!".  He wound up carrying the entire bag of grapes in to her room to prove to her that there were grapes left.  See?  A mess.   An awfully cute one, but a mess all the same.

I need to call and set up our follow up with the local ENT.  She's been complaining about her ears "itching" a lot lately - usually a sign of wax build up.  At least she isn't complaining that they hurt.  I know he will look at her ears, check the tube placement, clean out some wax and probably do another tympanogram and possibly a booth test.  I am always nervous about this because of our past difficulties with the tubes not wanting to stay in place.  And because she already had signs of scar tissue in her right ear, and that's the tube we've had the most issues with, I get nervous.  The ENT at Shriner's felt that she may not need any more sets of tubes, as when he replaced the last set there was no fluid in her ears - but that could have been an air bubble from anesthesia too.  The only way to know if she needs another set or not is to let these fall out and see what happens.  Part of me is hoping the tubes are no longer in place now, so we can monitor and see rather than waiting for them to come up.  The other downside is that because she's had the tubes for so long, there is a chance her eardrums have scarred around them, meaning once the tubes DO come out, the holes in her ear drums may not heal.  If that happens, she will need a graft surgery to correct that.  Of course, we had no choice but to risk that possibility because of her cleft.  Hearing is just such a touchy thing, anything to do with her ears makes me apprehensive.

So, that's where we are for now.  I'll update after we see the ENT.  September is Craniofacial Acceptance Month and I am hoping to have some good posts about our cleft journey to coincide with all of that. 

Where did the summer go?

Wow.  This summer flew past!  I don't know where all the time went.

Well, we were busy, that was for sure.  I took Microbiology this summer, and between classes every day and work every night, there was just no time.  This semester coming up will be the reverse - work in the morning and class in the evening.  I'm hoping it won't feel as hectic, though, since I'm only taking two classes this semester.  I turn in my nursing program application next week - and I'm praying I get accepted to start in January. 

Daddy Mac has been working hard, as always.  I am incredibly blessed to have his support in my schooling efforts, despite the stress it has to impart upon him.  Sometimes it feels like the last four years have been a trial by fire - but that's how the strongest steel is forged.  I am so grateful to have the love of  such a great man, for myself and for our children.  I look forward to the days when I can support him in following his dreams as he has done for me.

Monster Boy has done fairly well this summer.  He still struggles every time I start classes again.  I'm not sure where this fear comes from - he is paranoid about me going to school.  Each time I just try to reassure him that I am doing this for all of us.  I've gotten counseling information just in case.  Hopefully we won't need it and the transition will go better this time.  He is ready for school to start.  My big second grader this year!  I can't believe he is already that old - the time really does fly by.  Soccer starts again for him next week, Boy Scouts will start up as soon as the school year gets going, and he's also throwing around the idea of doing gymnastics, or karate, or piano lessons.  On top of the sacraments he will be recieving this year, it's going to be a BUSY BUSY year for him.  I've already told him he has to pick one thing and one thing only, because anything else is just going to be too much.

Miss Sunshine is as crazy as ever.  She's so smart.  I'm really disappointed we weren't able to get her in to preschool this year - she's absolutely ready for it.  Unfortunately, due to budget constraints, the kids school dropped their three year old preK program.  And the decision wasn't made until so late in the year that there weren't any openings at any other nearby programs for us to put her in.  And since Early Intervention has decided she doesn't need any further services (Yay!) she doesn't qualify for Head Start or any of the public preK programs for three year olds here.  So she won't start until next year.  Which is okay, but I would have liked to have her in school this year.  Such is life.  So instead, we will work on what she needs to know at home - she already knows the basics, all I need to work on her with is writing her name and knowing our phone number .  I'm hopeful that this will be an easy learning experience for her, and I've already stocked up on lettering pages and notepads. 


So, life is moving on in the Mac household.  I'll try to keep up more once we get settled into our routine.  Miss Sunshine will be having an ENT follow up sometime this month to check on her tubes, and probably clean her ears out again, as she has had a lot of wax buildup lately.  Other than that, it looks like it will be basic well child care for her for the next two years - I may request a speech evaluation once she starts preK, and we will do follow ups with the local ENT every six months until this current set of tubes come out or stop functioning.  Then they will monitor her for a couple of months to see if it's necessary to place a new set - her ENT at Shriner's thought she may not need more as there was little to no fluid in her ears when she placed the last set.  Of course, that's something we just won't know until the current tubes stop functioning and we can see if she has fluid build up or not.  Since every child differs, there is just no way to know.  At this point, it looks like she won't need addition palate procedures, but of course we can't know that until she grows more!  We are in a holding pattern for now - but she's doing everything as perfect as she can, so we can only pray that trend continues.

Busy bees

We've been crazy busy around here lately.  I'm sorry I've done so bad about updating. 

Monster Boy and his teeth are killing me.  Today was visit number four to the dentist in two months.  This time we walked away with a crown on one of his teeth.  Sigh.  I really thought Miss Sunshine would be our orthodontic nightmare, but it's turning out that Monster Boy is the one causing problems!  I was also informed that he will need braces soon - probably within the next two years.  The dentist said that they would need to go on as soon as his four front teeth came in.  He has a condition called "twinning" and as a result, his front teeth are almost twice the size they should be.  So, we have to get brackets on those teeth and get them moved out of the way so the rest of his permanent teeth can come in correctly.  Otherwise we will be running the risk of one (or more) of his permanent teeth eroding the roots of OTHER permanent teeth as they try to come in.  Sigh. 

Summer is in full swing at our house, and it is crazy busy.  Between classes for me every day, work for me nearly every night, baseball practice and games for Monster Boy, and family time in between, it feels like we are non stop running these days. 

Miss Sunshine is doing well.  I don't really have any new updates on her since we won't be seeing her cleft team for TWO MORE YEARS!  I am in complete awe over that still.

I guess that's about all the updates I have for now.  I'll try to get some more amusing anecdotes up soon - Miss Sunshine and Monster Boy have both been full of them lately...

Summertime...

It's the first full day for summer break for Monster Boy today.

Miss Sunshine and I are full on the throes of some massive allergy attacks.

I need to update about our dentist visit from Monday.  But that will wait for another day, because I don't feel like doing it today.

We are hiding inside in the air conditioning this afternoon since two of the three of us are not feeling well.  I hate that we've spent the whole day inside, but when you can't breathe, stop sneezing or stop coughing, 90+ degree weather is not where you want to spend your day.

Monster Boy is going camping with his Dad this weekend.  I'm nervous - he's never been to the lake without me, and there will be a billion people there since it's a Holiday weekend.  But, I don't get a say in whether or not he goes, so I've just gone over and over our safety rules with him and I have to trust that his Dad will watch after him.

We are not doing anything exciting for the holiday - Daddy Mac and I both work this weekend.  We will go to our family graves on Monday, to place flowers and such, and then have a small cookout at my grandmothers.  That is the extent of our plans for the weekend at this point.  So, I'll try to make it back here to give some real updates and posts, before the insanity of classes pick up again.

Some good news...

We made it home safe and sound from our Shriner's trip!  Miss Sunshine did so well on the plane, I was very proud of her.  She did okay in the hotel, but when it came time for bed, she cried and said she wanted to go home.  It took some convincing but I did finally manage to get her to sleep. She's a bit of a bed hog, so Mommy didn't get as much sleep, but that's okay!

Wednesday was a LONG day.  Team cleft visits always are - we saw 5 doctors (Dentist, Orthodontist, ENT, Plastic Surgeon, and Child Psychologist) in one day, plus a Medical Photographer, Social Worker, Nurse Practitioner, RN, Audiologist and Speech Therapist.  And they did dental X Rays for the first time this visit as well.  Phew!  Miss Sunshine is still a peanut, weighing in at 29 pounds, and 37 inches tall.  Long and skinny... just like Daddy.  Everyone was astounded by her.  They told us she could not be developing and recovering more perfectly!  The speech therapist agreed with our local speech team that she no longer needs speech therapy.  The child psychologist agreed with the cognitive assessment we had done here (despite Miss Sunshine deciding to talk in baby talk the entire time she was in the room - stinker!), the social worker gave us some paperwork for assistance with dental care down the road, as she will likely need extensive orthodontics, the dentist said her teeth look great and he has no major concerns - just to keep up with twice-yearly visits and keep an eye on her developing underbite.  The ENT said her ears look great, she passed her hearing tests with flying colors, and both tubes are still in place and functioning.  He even said he feels this may be the last set she needs - he wants us to follow up with our local ENT periodically to check hearing and function of the tubes, but if she loses one, he doesn't want to rush to replace it, he wants to give it a few months and see how she does without it - when they placed this last set, there was no fluid in the left ear at all, and he thinks it's a sign that her palatal muscles are beginning to do their job.  All in all, it was a fabulous (if tiring!) visit.  And the best news is - they don't need to see her back for TWO years!  Yes, we get a two year reprieve from visits unless something major comes up that our local doctors don't feel they can handle.  But at this point, she is a totally normal little girl who just happened to have a cleft palate at birth, but her surgery has been deemed a 100% success now that she is two years post-op.  I can't being to describe what a huge weight this is that has been lifted off our shoulders.  Even though all our local doctors have said she is doing well, you just never know until you get to a team visit - you can think things are going perfectly and then find out that really they aren't.  But they are going perfectly this time - and it's just the kind of break we needed!

Preschool.... or not.

We got some disappointing news this week about Miss Sunshine's preschool enrollment.  Without going in to a lot of detail, in the end, the school effectively eliminated the three year old preschool class.  While I understand the reasons, it does not lessen my disappointment in both the canceling of the class and the way the situation was handled.  I am trying to be understanding about the position the administrators have found themselves in, but the truth is, I felt disrespected.  And the fact that this was handled via a one page letter, and then at a meeting tonight, AFTER parents called and complained, found out that even the scenario the letter outline (which included a cost increase of more than double) wasn't even accurate due to licensing situations with the daycare they were planning to move the preschool program to, I do think that the situation could not have been handled more poorly had they tried.

We had our reasons for choosing to enroll Miss Sunshine in preschool now.  I know that three year old programs are not necessary, or even popular.  We did not feel that academically or socially she needed this program.  Our reasons for choosing to put her in the program centered around getting her used to the school environment and away from me.  Because she is with me, pretty much all the time, or family members, she is rather clingy.  Two days a week for a few hours seemed like a good way to transition her to the school environment, as she will have to go to school five days a week for half days next year.  Since the preschool option we enrolled her for is no longer available, she will not be attending preschool at all.

Disappointed barely begins to sum up my feelings on the matter, but it's all I've got right now.

Time flies...

I can't believe it's already May!  Where did this year go? 

We finally heard back from Shriner's last week - and we go there in two weeks!  Ack!  They had a cancellation for their next clinic, so we had the option of the clinic the second week of May, or waiting until OCTOBER.  So, I chose May.  It's going to make things a little crazy that week, and necessitate postponing our planned garage sale, but it's what we have to do.

I'm excited and nervous all at once for this visit.  In our opinions, Miss Sunshine is doing beyond phenomenal.  Her cognitive abilities are through the roof, her speech is fantastic, she passed her last hearing tests with flying colors.  On the other hand, we are not the medical professionals.  And it's entirely possible that all the things we think are going great are really not.  When you are dealing with something like cleft, things can change so rapidly as our children grow.  Things like scar tissue causing growth restriction on her palate.  We already know that she has a slight underbite, from her dental visits.  We know we are in for lots of (expensive) orthodontic work.  What we don't know is if, as she grows, the size of her palate will cause issues with speech, etc.  It's not something they can predict, they can only take a wait and see approach to it.  So every visit is a little tense for us because the truth is we just never know.  However, I'm choosing to expect that she'll pass everything with flying colors, as she has for the last year, and that our visit will turn out great, as usual.  The stress of traveling with a three year old is really higher on my concern list than anything else right now.  Although, we made so many trips up to now that I pretty much have it down to a science.  I'll be bringing some pullups as a backup, because even though she is potty trained, travel can be disruptive for a kiddo.  But I can pack everything we need into one backpack, with a small backpack for her filled with entertainment items for the flight.  We have the travel rack with wheels for her carseat (that's really the most difficult thing to maneuver on our trips) and typically I would put her seat on the plane since she now has her own seats on the flights.  I learned from experience last time, however, that the new airline they fly us in on has SMALL planes and it's a massive pain in the neck to lug that thing down those narrow aisles - so we will be gate checking the carseat - and I'll be taking my chances that they won't break the wheels and leaving it strapped to the rack so I'm not holding up people at the gate trying to get it reassembled.  This should be interesting, to say the least.  I will admit, I'm looking forward to the time when we can travel without a carseat at all, although that's at least 6 years into the future.  Oh well, you do what you have to in order to make sure your kids are safe.