Changes, again.

I've made a few changes on the blog.  Minor ones, that you may not notice right away.  But, if you have been here more than once, you might take a look around, and let me know what you think.

I plan to update the banner soon, with newer pictures and graphics.  Of course, things like that take time, and time is a precious commodity in our house these days.

I meet with my adviser this week to plan my schedule for next semester.  Some big changes are going to come with this meeting.  Depending on if I can work it out to take a certain class online, not too much will change.  But if I can't, I have to completely redo my schedule, including the work schedule.  Which means less work, less money and things will be even tighter.  And it means that we will likely have to put Miss Sunshine in some type of full time care, rather than the Mom's Day Out programs we have been able to utilize so far.   Which means things will be even tighter with money.  Fingers crossed that things work out the way I want them to.

It's nearly time for Christmas - and with Christmas comes birthdays!  Both of the kid's birthdays are fairly close to Christmas - so soon I will no longer have a 2 year old and a 6 year old - I will have a 3 year old and a 7 year old.

Miss Sunshine is now on yearly visits to Shriner's!  Hooray for progress!  I think one of the tubes that we just had replaced is blocked again, I will be taking Miss Sunshine in for a hearing test soon to see what is going on there.  We had our first local dentist visit, and Miss Sunshine does have a pronounced under bite - not unusual in a child with cleft palate.  We did expect this, as her palate is likely growth-restricted due to the scar tissue from her palate repair.  It should grow somewhat normally, but most children who have palatoplasty (palate repair) have a pronounced under bite due to a smaller palate and roof of their mouth.  What this will mean in the future, we aren't for sure.  Obviously we are talking palate expansion.  Whether they will be able to do this with orthodontic devices or whether it will require additional surgery we just won't know until she gets older.  She is still missing the right upper canine - her left one finally decided to make an appearance last month.  She does not have all of her two year molars yet, so there is still hope that her canine will eventually show up.  They tried to take xrays to see what was going on, but she just couldn't hold still enough.  We will try again in March when we go back.

We had parent teacher conferences for Monster Boy - and he's doing GREAT!  He is reading at a third grade level (he is in first grade this year) and is ahead of his class in both math and science.  We are having some issues with fidgeting, talking out of turn and not fully listening to instructions, but we have put a plan in to place we hope will help with some of these things.  I think, and his teacher agrees, that a lot of the attention issues are due to the fact that he is just so far ahead of the rest of the class.  So, when he finishes work up early (which according to his teacher is pretty much daily), he will get another worksheet on the topic they are studying, to hopefully allow the rest of the class to finish before he hits the "bored stage" where he starts messing around.  He lost tooth number four this weekend, and was super excited that he pulled it out all by himself (this is the first one he pulled on his own!).  It's funny, when your kids start losing teeth, their baby teeth seem so small in their mouths, and yet, when the adult teeth start coming in, they seem so HUGE!  My baby boy is growing up so fast, I wish I could just freeze time some days.

Daddy Mac is doing well.  He fell down the stairs on Thursday, moving a table, and hurt his back.  Not badly enough to warrant a trip to the doctor, or so he says, but enough that it's causing him discomfort and he's having a hard time sleeping in our bed because it's too soft.  He slept most of the night last night on the couch after falling asleep during a movie (I didn't have the heart to wake him) and said that it felt a bit better today.  Hopefully he is telling the truth and not just saying that to, *ahem*, get me off his back.  (Okay, okay, bad pun, I know.  I just couldn't resist.)

I hadn't really intended to write a novel tonight.  But, I guess it was time to catch you up on life in the Mac household.  Hopefully I will be able to post a bit more once the holiday break gets here (although, as a mom, it seems like the phrase "holiday break" is an oxymoron - anyone else feel that way?).  And, if my schedule works as I hope it to (again, all dependent on one class and whether or not my adviser will allow me to enroll in it as I am missing one prerequisite) then I will actually be taking fewer hours next semester, and should have more time on my hands.  We will keep our fingers crossed that things work out the way I'm hoping for!

Exhaustion

I knew going back to school would be hard work.

I vastly underestimated how exhausting it would be.

I do know that it is worth it.  This is going to mean great things in the future for our family.  But days like today, it's hard to keep that in sight.

Miss Sunshine is napping right now.  I should probably have taken advantage of that fact and done some napping myself.  Instead, I decided to go through Monster Boy's drawers and start the transition from summer to fall.  BIG mistake.  Why is it that small boys are so hard on furniture?  I've spent the last twenty minutes fixing his dresser after discovering broken tracks on two of his drawers.

I have the decorating bug, and no time to decorate!  I want to move Monster Boy's room around again.  I want to move Miss Sunshine's room around again.  Things just never seem to really "fit" the way I want them to after I move their furniture.  I want to repaint the kids bathroom - it's a sage green and lately it just feels dingy to me.  I'm thinking a warm, buttery yellow will brighten it up in there nicely.  Of course, finding time and money to paint... well.  It's a thought at least.  I want to replace the flooring in Miss Sunshine's room.  The whole house, really, but at this point that is not feasible.  Miss Sunshine's room is a priority though.  Her carpet is sorely in need of replacing.  And it's a small room.  We want to do hardwoods - but know we can't afford it, so we will settle for laminate.  So, I'm thinking we will start with her room, and just do one area at a time until we get it all done.  Her room first, then Monster Boy's.  Then the hallway, then our room.  The living/dining/kitchen will have to be done last because it will have to be done all at once.  And perhaps even the hall will have to wait until then.  But for now, Miss Sunshine's room is the priority.  Hopefully we'll be able to pick some stuff up by the end of this month.  That is our goal.

Things are tight right now though, so it just may have to wait, much as we don't want it to.  Right now, we have to concentrate on our needs, not our wants.  We are trying.

And all of that, plus time with the kids, time for work, time for school, time for cleaning and studying and laundry and... well, you get the idea.  Add all of it up, and you get one very tired Mommy.   And it's only going to get crazier from here.

Score!

Monster Boy had soccer game number three today.  I see great improvements in his playing with every week that passes.  And today, best of all, he scored his very first goal!  He did great today, and I was so very proud of him.

Miss Sunshine has assessments coming up in a few weeks.  She is in the Early Intervention program through the state of Kansas for mostly speech, as she has no other developmental delays.  She's not currently speech delayed any longer, but they have been continuing her services since she qualifies due to her cleft.  The way EI works in Kansas is that up to the age of three it's handled through one company.  After the age of three, the school system takes over.  Since Miss Sunshine will be three this coming February, it's time for her to transition.  They will do full evaluations in all areas on her - speech, eating, psychological, everything.  I have no doubt that they will find her developmentally on track and recommend little to no services, but you never know, and these kinds of things are so nerve wracking.

I am excited to say that I am currently pulling a 3.92 in school (It would be a 4.0 but my university uses a plus/minus grade scale and I am 1% point off for an A in one class, so I have an A- instead, which is lower than a 4.0).  I am feeling GREAT about my decision to go back to school after finding this out.  I am more confident now, despite some difficulties in every day life, that this was the right decision to make for both my family and myself.

Things are about to get crazy busy around here so I probably will not be around as much, but I will still try to keep up.

Blur

The past four days have been a blur.  I barely remember anything.

Thursday morning, as I was getting the kids and I ready for school, my phone beeped.  It was a text from my stepmom, telling me my cousin was in ICU.  I immediately texted back, asking if I should skip class to come up there.  She texted me back that it was up to me.  I had a review for an upcoming exam (which is now tomorrow) and several assignments due, so the entire drive to Monster Boy's school was filled with me mentally arguing with myself over whether or not I should go to class or the hospital.  (I should clarify that this cousin has multiple health problems and this is not the first time he's been hospitalized for things).  I had finally decided I would try to squeeze in a quick trip to the hospital (conveniently located across the street from Monster Boy's school) and then head on to class.  Well, as I was pulling in to the parking lot, my phone rang.  It was my dad.  And he was crying.  And he told me I should come NOW.  That is NEVER a good sign.  Ever.  I can probably count on one hand the number of times I have actually seen my father cry.  So, there I am in the parking lot with Miss Sunshine, knowing I can't take her in to the hospital, trying to figure out what to do.  My dad says he will wait outside with her while I go in.  I call Daddy Mac and ask him to come get her - I am already in tears at this point and haven't even made it inside the hospital.  He leaves work and comes to get her as I head downstairs.  I get to the ICU and every single one of my family members is there, and crying.  This is not good.  The next few hours passed in a blur, but mainly I remember praying.  HARD.  For any kind of miracle God could give us, but mostly to please save my cousin.  And then, just when the doctors were saying no, he turned a corner.   He is still in critical condition, and as of last night was still on a ventilator (although they are supposed to try taking it out today).  But, he is still alive.  And four days ago, they told us he wouldn't be.  Each day he gets stronger and stronger.  Each minute is a miracle for us.

I have never believed as much in the power of prayer as I do now.  Because this weekend, I saw it with my own eyes.

Remembrance...

All day today, I remembered.

I remembered being woken up by a phone call from a friend, asking if I thought a mutual friend of ours was okay.  I was ALL kinds of confused.  And then she clued me in - the first tower had been hit at the World Trade Center, as well as the Pentagon.  Our friend worked at the Pentagon (she was not there that day, thankfully).

I remember heading to class, listening in horror to my car radio as the second tower was hit.

I remember coming out of class, going to the student union to get a drink, and seeing everyone standing in silence and shock, watching as the towers fell.

I remember going to class where my professors were in as much shock as the rest of us, and pretty much just sat there for the hour of time we were there.

I remember the days of fear that followed - my sister was supposed to be on a flight that day to come home for a visit - obviously her flight was canceled.  She made it home a week later, and I remember being nervous the entire time I knew she was on the plane.

I remember life before 9/11/2001.  And I know life after.

My children will never know a life where that day does not exist.  It was before their time, but, much like Vietnam was before mine, they will hear the stories, they will see the pictures, and they will grow up knowing that their world is forever different because of what happened.

And today, ten years later, I still remember.  I will ALWAYS remember.

I have a ladybug in my EYE!

Miss Sunshine has developed quite the imagination (and personality) lately.  We had a very interesting conversation on my way to work the other day, and it went something like this:

(I am driving and Miss Sunshine is in her car seat behind me.)
Miss Sunshine - "Oh no!  I have something in my EYE!"
Me - "Something in your eye??  What is it?"
Miss Sunshine - "I don't know.  It's a LADYBUG!"
Me (trying not to laugh) - "A ladybug?!  How did a ladybug get in your eye?"
Miss Sunshine - "I don't know.  It's a BABY ladybug."
Me (still trying to hold in the laughter) - "A baby ladybug, huh?"
Miss Sunshine - "Yeah.  Don't worry, he's not scawy"
Me (little giggles are beginning to sneak out) - "Oh, well, I'm glad he's not scary then."
Miss Sunshine - "Yeah.  Don't huwt him!  Don't squish him!"
Me (giggling harder) - "No, we wouldn't want to hurt him.  That would not be nice."
(I have reached the gym, and open the door to take her out)
Miss Sunshine - "Be caweful.  He is scawed of you!"
Me (cracking up at this point) - "He's scared of me?  Why is he scared of me?"
Miss Sunshine - "I don't know, but he is scawed.  You must be scawy.  Be nice, okay Mommy?"
Me (almost in tears at this point) - "Okay, I'll be nice.  Let's put him down now so we can go to work, okay?"
Miss Sunshine - "Okay.  I put him wight hewe, okay?  You stay hewe baby ladybug.  I see you later.  But don't get in my eye again, okay ladybug?"

Sigh.  That was the best day I've had in a long time.

It is that time of year again!

September is Craniofacial Acceptance month!

I'd like to post a note that I posted on Facebook for our first Craniofacial Acceptance Month.  I feel like so much of what I posted then still applies now...

We have joined a group called the Children's Craniofacial Association. Averie's cleft palate is considered a craniofacial anomaly. The CCA has designated September as Craniofacial Acceptance Month, and I am trying to help get the word out. There are so many different craniofacial defects, and while we are blessed that Averie's defect is fully correctable, so many of these kids will go through difficult and painful surgeries, recoveries, and even ridicule over the course of their lives. I think it is important for everyone to spend a little time educating themselves about craniofacial defects and what they could do in their area to help. You can visit the website ccakids.org for more information about their work and the types of anomalies they provide assistance for. They are also selling bracelets similar to the Live Strong bracelets as a fundraiser. If you are interested in purchasing a bracelet (for $1 each), please feel free to contact me. They are available in five different colors - purple, royal blue, lime green, teal and orange. Help us spread the word!


You can find more information on the Children's Craniofacial Association HERE.  


It would mean a lot to us and our family if you would all take a few minutes to just check out what the CCA is all about, perhaps even consider a small donation, or take the time to educate someone else you know about what our children face daily.