Well, to be accurate, they go to my gym. You know, where I work in the drop-off nursery. And they drop their kids off there. And I noticed about two months ago that one of their daughters has cleft lip.
And I've been wary of saying anything - because the last time I said anything to someone, the mom got totally offended and basically rushed off before I could even tell her my daughter has cleft as well. And I completely do not think I said anything offensive, all I asked was if her daughter (who had a scar running from her lip up into her nose) had a cleft. She informed me that she did not, she was just born with the scar (which is what is called a microform cleft, by the way - and is what Joaquin Phoenix has - although he denies it... but I digress), and then rushed off. I totally wasn't trying to be rude, just to connect with another parent who has been there, you know?
So, last night, I worked up my guts and said something to the dad. And he was wonderfully receptive. And told me that I should speak to his wife, when I mentioned I didn't know any other cleft families HERE, because, as he put it - she's totally involved and educated and knows a lot more than he does. He travels for work, so he missed most of the nitty-gritty, aside from surgeries, and told me I'd be better off talking to her. So hopefully, one day soon, I will work up my guts AGAIN and say something to her.
Because as much as I know I can do this on my own- oh, how wonderful it would be to have another person HERE, live and in person, to talk to about my fears and struggles and such. Someone who has been where I have been, or am going, and can reassure me on these things.
I have a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful network of online support. But sometimes, a real, live person and not just a screen name on the web, would really be great too...